Over the holidays, my brother-in-law asked me what I had been up to since the last time we had seen each other and for a few seconds, I couldn’t think of anything that I, personally, had achieved. My response was, “We just had our Christmas Party/Open House!” and then I downplayed it, like, HAH, as if that’s an actual accomplishment. (Actually, it TOTALLY is. That shit isn’t easy, yo!)
But, that’s really all I had to share, that sounded worthy of sharing. Or so I originally thought.
I spent a lot of this year offline with my family. It seems three children take up a lot of time and energy and what time I had left, it’s wasn’t nosed in my computer screen. Hell, I’m sure I could make time for it, during school hours/nap time, but I find myself wanting to do other things. (decompressing, for one!)
I don’t feel like I’ve outgrown it here, it’s just what I have to say doesn’t come across as well as I want it to, or I’m writing for all the wrong reasons. Rereading a meme I wrote in 2007, after a year of blogging in the first place, I remember why I started this space in the first place. To write this shit down, so I’ll remember this time I’m living in. Otherwise, it’ll just jumble in to a handful of memories that will be difficult to separate down the line.
So, that’s what I am vowing to myself, a new year’s resolution, if you will. I plan to get back on here and write. Not at the expense of my family and the time spent with them, but to make better use of my time, if that is at all possible. Just thinking about it sounds difficult. We’re not here a lot. Not like we used to be. I guess that’s what happens as the kids get older. We’re not here in between preschool sessions playing amongst our toys until dinner time. (Man, I miss those days!) We’re running from here to there, practicing this and that, and buying things to feed this ever-growing herd, often.
What I can say is that I’m happy. Truly tickled. This house makes me smile from ear to ear every time I drive home to it. The people in it have more space to roam, more bike trails to ride, more family time to be had outdoors. It’s a dream come true. One that will take years to get just right, but excited for the challenge.
I feel like I’m rambling here. It’s been so long since I’ve said anything, I’m all over the map. At least it’s something, right?
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