Happy Friday!

ok, so it’s not like I actually saved the planet all by myself, but my small effort was a step in the right direction.

Awhile back, I purchased reusable bags at all the stores I typically shopped. The problem with my efforts was leaving those damn bags in the back of the car EVERY TIME I went inside. Once there, it was too late to schlep the kids back out to the car to grab those damn bags. (usually, once in the way back corner of Target, where the light bulbs reside, I remembered I forgot to remember them.)

So, feeling the guilt, I would save every damn bag in my pantry, all smushed down into one big bag, taking up space, mixing in with the extra paper towels and the paper sacks. I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to do with them, but I just couldn’t throw them away. Even if my city recycles everything inside my garbage can, ( TOTAL SCORE) I just couldn’t muster leaving them in somebody else’s hands to do away with.

Then, I realized my local grocery store recycles plastic bags. INGENIOUS! And, also, WHO KNEW?? (so not me.)

So, after getting a random hair up my ass yesterday, I collected every single plastic baggie in my house and put it in my car, (even the bags the veggies and fruits come in. don’t forget those!) I took them down to my local Safeway, parked right in front of the store, turned my hazards on, and ran up to the door. (once again, I didn’t want to schlep the kids in and out of the car.) There, in front of me, was a recycle bin for all plastic bags, from ANY store. (so not biased. nice.)

ahhhhhh.

The guilty weight has been lifted AND I have all this extra pantry space.

Now, if I could only get my hands on a small compost. I swear, I throw away so many cores from various fruits, banana peels, the whole nine yards.

e

next up: my various uses for wash clothes

and no, I am not kidding.

So, I am starting a new series here called “Nothing’s Worse.” Each time I post, it will be concerning a new topic. Now, of course, I know, and you know there are many things worse in life, but if you can humor me, I’ll humor you, ok? mmmmk.

Now, don’t get me wrong, the fact that I actually HAD a spa day is something to be thrilled over, but I was sick. I am still sick for that matter. So I tried my hardest to ignore my shortcomings and enjoy the hell out of my day.

I had been given two gift certificates to a new spa in town from my mommy-girlfriends and hubs over the past 6 months. I finally cashed them in and was ready to be pampered. I arrived at the spa and was immediately offered a glass of champagne. Classy! Who cares if it’s 11:15am. I’m off-duty, let’s drink up! I sat down to wait for my appointment and began to sip.

“We’re ready for you now.”

Wait, what?

Nothing’s worse than having a lovely drink, but no time to drink it.

By the time I got back to my room, made a last minute trip to the bathroom, and was told to get undressed and into massage position, there was no time for toddie!

Once I was face down in my massage position, and had stashed a small amount of kleenex in my underwear, the massage lady came back and began what was close to the best massage I ever had. HOWEVER,

Nothing’s worse when said massage lady notices random stash of kleenex in client’s underwear while she was rubbing up and down the outer thigh.

I felt the need to explain my need for the kleenex, but no matter what I said, I sounded more and more like a major ass doily.

Most people don’t know it’s not a good idea to drink alcohol while suffering from a cold. It can make someone 5000 times more stuffy than they were before they had anything to drink.

Nothing’s worse than having a stuffy nose times 5000 anytime, anywhere.

After being on my stomach for most of the entire hour, what had been a 5000 times stuffy nose due to the few sips of champagne, now had become drippy schmippy due to the lovely faced-down positioning.

Nothing’s worse than dripping nasal mucus on the floor of a massage room.

I literally looked down and was relieved that I hit the rug carpet and not the cement floor.

***

After my massage, the facial lady came in. She, like the massage lady, did a lovely job.

HOWEVER,

We all know they like to get all crazy in the scalp region during a facial. And that is all fine and dandy, BUT in the past month, due to some hormonal shift in the “had a baby 9 months ago” worlds, I have a small case of dry scalp. Let me say this, I have NEVER had dry scalp like this. NEVER. AND, at the same time, my face broke out around my laugh line on one side of my face.

Nothing’s worse than someone, ANYONE running their fingers, NAILS for that matter, through your scalp, when your scalp is going through some kind of FUNK.

I could just picture her after the facial wondering what the hell was under her nails and talking to all her salon friends laughing at me.

I complained to her about my face, asking her what she thought was the reason behind my random breakout. She didn’t really have a clue, which I find so interesting coming from somebody who SHOULD KNOW what’s going on with my face.

Nothing’s worse when someone who should know what they’re saying, pulls something out of the ass and says, “I don’t know, maybe it’s like Rosacea.”

***

Once my facial was over, I wasn’t quite finished for the day. I made my way over to the hair salon across town.

Nothing’s worse than showing up at a hair salon with a greasy, extracted, red face while wearing greasy, “visible root showing” hair on top of your head.

All I said to my hairdresser was, “Fix me.”

And she did.

And then I went home.

Nothing’s worse than going home after a long day by yourself, being pampered, “fixed”, and knowing you won’t be doing that again for A REALLY LONG TIME.

e

You may want to turn your speakers down for this one. Rt is trying to get daddy’s attention once he walked through the door and it can be quite repetitive. Here’s Hola, just shy of 2 weeks walking, making big strides.

 If you can, put in a good work to whomever is listening for some teeth to bust out over here. That would be SUUUPER.

Have you ever read a blog and then felt worse about yourself after reading it?

You know, like somehow you compare yourself to someone who has something you don’t have (even though your life was “JUST FINE” without it?) OR has done something you haven’t done (once again, didn’t need that in my life to feel complete prior!)

I feel like I am 12 again and wishing I had braces since all the other girls in my class, who were “way cool”, had crooked teeth.

(side note, I am getting a retainer this week and couldn’t be MORE THRILLED. um, ya, total geek.)

You know, like those studies out there that state 70% of women feel worse about themselves after they’ve read through a woman’s magazine?

Having an inside track into other people’s lives should offer nothing more than entertainment, inspiration, a good laugh, a touching cry and so on. So, why wander off in a negative direction?

I need to remind myself it’s all about the big picture. What really matters. Sometimes I lose sight of that and get caught up in the latest nonsense. It’s not healthy, nor does it serve any purpose.

I went to a seminar this weekend and was thankful I was reminded of why I’m here. To be true to myself, my husband, my children, my close family, and even closer friends. My purpose is more clear. I just wish I could keep all the negative nonsense at an arm’s reach.

e