I looked at J a couple of weeks ago and said, “I can’t believe we’ve been parents for eight years.” We discussed how eight feels like a long time and then doesn’t all in the same thought.

Knowing that our journey into parenthood began with our little boy was such a blessing. I spent most of that first year trying to figure myself out. How on earth was this gig not natural? Why isn’t this coming easy for me? Oh ya, I had never babysat alone a day in my life, including changing a diaper. WHAT WAS I THINKING? How was this to be easy?

Such a naive gal I was. Luckily, I think we both made it out ok and have been chugging along ever since. I will always strive for better, but I’m thankful to know I always get a chance at a re-do. As I said, “good enough” is good enough. (And if I can just be ok with that 100% of the time, I’d be a lot more relaxed.)

Ryan was my sickest infant, which only means he was the one that got the ear infections and had to have tubes put in before he was 2. Man, were those things sleep suckers. No WONDER IT WAS HARD. He couldn’t actually sleep if he was in pain half the time! 5 infections, with 3 of them being doubles, took a toll on all of us. Those things never cleared up. Thankfully, he’s never had one since his tubes and has been quite a healthy kid since.

The natural confidence he exudes is amazing. His laid back attitude along with the “I can do all things” swagger has helped him in so many ways. Switching schools this last year, I’m sure, wasn’t easy, but he took his time and made friends the way he needed to make them. (I, of course, was fretting at every school pickup hoping he wasn’t eating his lunch alone again.)

He still shows his vulnerability. He is only 8. I took him to school late this morning after his well-visit and he had to enter his classroom alone with everyone in their seats. He came back and found me on campus after I had taken Hunter to his room and was all disheveled and nervous. I gave him a big pep talk and hid behind the door as he went inside. (HE STILL NEEDS MEEEEEE.)

He’s willing and enjoys playing most sports. He’s nowhere near the tallest kid, but his determination and his blasé attitude has served him well. He still likes to do a dance he just learned in the outfield sometimes, but his heart is pure. Being a natural performer, he tends to be dramatic, but it has led him to some great opportunities like school plays, so I’m assuming it will only help him in his journey. Plus, seeing him reenact a scene from Wipeout, his favorite show of all time, is quite hilarious.

He’s a big brother through and through. I don’t know how many kids his age have the patience for a sibling 3 years younger. His best friend is his brother and he’ll tell anyone who asks. They play and play and bicker and fight and play and play some more. Kids his age have already had play dates for a few years, but we’ve never really needed anyone else here. They’ve got each other. (Of course, that can and will change tomorrow, so I’ll take that they just need each other, for now.)

He’s a smart cookie. He looks to be one of the smartest kids in his class. He tends to rush his work so he can go off and read, but I’m just glad he enjoys reading so much. I’ll take a little rushing. We’ve been reading Charlotte’s Web at night together. His class is reading it at school, but he still puts his head on my shoulder and intently follows along. It’s something I know I am going to miss sooner than later. WAAAAAH.

Eight. What do I think of eight? Eight is good. It comes with some exploratory attitude. It’s as if his mind is saying, “let’s try this on for size.” Once he gets some negative feedback on his commentary, he tends to change his tune.

He’s getting to not need the extra doting I’ve been giving him especially when we’re around some other kids. The “I’ve got this” wave off is a sign of the future. I hate that sign, but after experiences like today, I am going to keep offering my help no matter the reaction. I know he needs it whether he knows it or not.

He’s a gem. And he’s ours. I’m proud, I’m tickled, I’m honored to be his mom.

I’m glad he’s first.

e

This is Rt playing in his first piano recital last weekend. There were 12 children playing and he was by far the youngest and smallest one up on stage. Enjoy!

Can’t seem to embed the video here yet, so here’s the link: Rt’s Recital

The moment he began to play, I became overwhelmed with tears in my eyes. Watching my sweet, little boy perform for the first time was a moment I’ll never forget. To say we are proud, is an understatement.

e

So, yesterday was Ryan’s birthday.

He turned six.

And I didn’t have a lick of time to sit and write about it.

Completely and totally to be expected, but it broke my heart none-the-less.

My little boy. My first little boy is growing up. He looks almost adult compared to the younger two. He’s starting to grow. His toes began poking through his socks not long ago. He’s looking more lanky than not. My mother in law is concerned. She said I should ask my doctor at his next appointment about his weight. Hmmmm. I do not believe there is anything wrong with my boy. He eats good food, he’s very active. He can’t sit still while playing the Wii. He jumps. The entire time.

He’s never been the tallest boy on the block. Not even close. Funny how he was such a chunky little thing and now he’s considered small or underweight. I’m not concerned, but I am glad to buy bigger socks for the kid. If the feet grow, the body is next.

He’s a little bit of a worrier. He asked me the other night while driving to baseball practice if I was going to die. With all the hormones raging through me, I nearly lost it. I told him we would be his mommy and daddy forever and planned to be here as long as we possibly could. He also asked if when we are gone, would we be sad we weren’t at home anymore. Then, as I looked back in the rearview mirror, I noticed he was making the face. The one where he’s trying to hold back the tears, but they come anyway. And then, I my heart broke into a million pieces.

He has such a big heart. He wants everyone to be his friend and everyone IS his friend. No one is left out. He’s smart. He can read VERY well. His math is crazy good. He can tell time and count money. He blows me away on a daily basis. He’s everything.

Having a baby truly makes me love my two older kids even more than I ever did before. Of course I am wearing my heart on my sleeve this week, but it’s so true. It’s as if the goggles of life have been taken off and I can see them so clearly. They are amazing. All of them.

Ryan, being the leader of my pack, thrills me to no end. I can’t wait to see how all of this plays out. My boys! All three of them!

As you can read, I am all over the map here. I burst into tears last night hoping Ryan had had a good enough birthday. Of course my husband told me he did, then he sent me to bed because I “looked SO tired.” And I was. I want everything for my boy. My boys, and my heart breaks every time I think of the times they’ll get hurt, or disappointed, or sad or lonely.

God, I am a big ball of mush. I can’t think or talk about anything important. Otherwise, I’ll just lose it. Just like I am now. Tears coming down my face.

This feeling thing blows. It’s exhausting.

Luckily, for me, I get to go down this road again next week when Hola turns three. THREE. GAWD. Here come the tears again.

e

P.S.- I can’t stop eating the Hot Tamales.

Ok, so I’ve got one hell of a 5 yr old. He’s amazing. He’s funny. He’s smart and he’s a joy to be around. THE BOMB, I tell ya.

That said……he has gotten himself into a tad bit of trouble lately and it’s really thrown me off guard.

Case in point,

A few weeks ago, I was flying solo with the boys and came out into the den/kitchen to get the morning started. Rt said something like, “Wow, there is only one cookie left in the container.” (I had made kitchen sink cookies and there was a good handful left from the day before.) I glanced over and realized that yes, there was only ONE left.

I had to think for a second because I did eat FOUR the night before. (Hey, parking it on the couch by yourself can lead to over-indulging.) But, I thought, I didn’t eat enough for there to be just ONE left?! Did I?

I gave Rt a good look and asked him where all the cookies had gone. He said, “Am I going to get in trouble if I tell the truth?” I said not as bad as if you lie about the matter.

So, he confessed.

He had gotten up at 6-something-AM, well before anyone else, came into the kitchen and hoarded 3 cookies back to his room and scarfed them down.

But, he also lead me to this discovery himself. Guilt involved? Let’s hope.

***

Next case in point,

He went into my room during quiet time, got into (my Christmas gift) a box of Starbursts, proceeded to go back to his room and EAT THE ENTIRE SLEEVE. He even hid the evidence behind a box in his closet. The ONLY reason he got busted for this one was the red tongue he displayed when he came out of his room after quiet time was over. SUCKER.

***

And another doozy….

Rt spent the night with his friend in December while hubs and I were out of town. The next day, my friend found the Vtech camera that had been in the boys’ room and noticed that MY son had taken a photo of HER son while they were changing into their pajamas the night before. Let’s just say, Rt was given a NICE talking to with regards to proper behavior. Things like that were NOT ACCEPTABLE. (Talk about embarrassing… GAWD.) (She was truly fine with it, but it’s a hard one to swallow, for sure.)

***

And lastly,

Hola was holding Rt’s Vtech camera yesterday morning right after we got up for the day. It was playing a video, so I took the camera to turn it off and move on with our morning. What I was about to witness was ONE FOR THE BOOKS, people.

It seems my son docked his camera on a bench, then proceeded to record himself in the bathroom taking a CRAP. You couldn’t see anything besides him sitting on the toilet, until…….he got off, came over and grabbed the camera, STILL RECORDING and showed the viewing audience what he had created in the bowl. DUDE.

EWW.

WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM?

I know this is all self-discovery, can I get away with it, hey, I just wanted a cookie, BUT this is a new chapter for us. We are disciplining him as needed and feel he is learning from each incidence, but STILL.

I guess I can laugh at most of it and look back on this time and tell him what a little sneaker, PORN DIRECTOR, he was, but until then,

I’VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU KID.

e

Before!

And After!

As you can see, we are all doing just fine. We are used to the gap in the front and are trying to reform our words with the new layout. He’s super cute either way, so in the end, the teeth didn’t change that. Just another learning process for us parents. Nothing ever stays the same for long!

Don’t forget to vote on the gender poll! You’ve got until tomorrow morning to cast your thoughts. Down to the wire now, isn’t it? AGHHHHHH.

Headed in late this afternoon to have Rt’s two front teeth removed after a run-in with his brother’s forehead. Seems the brother’s forehead is fine, but Rt’s teeth are fractured.

If we don’t do anything about them, they could get infected and cause damage to his permanent teeth. While Rt seems “fine” with this entire thing, (His teeth are loose, so that means he has something in common with the rest of his schoolmates who have lost or loose bottom teeth. It’s cool.) I am a secret wreck.

 These are my first baby’s TEETH we are talking about here. And yes, everybody says it’s going to be fine, etc, but what if it was YOUR baby’s teeth? It’s all fine and dandy until you are the one saying goodbye to one of your kid’s characteristics that you have grown to love and adore over the past 5 years.

I am a sorry sap for words. I was tearing up uploading these photos last night. GAWD. Luckily, there are friends, like Whoorl, who have been through this before and have come out of this just fine, but I AM NOT GOOD WITH CHANGE. Yet, I tend to voluntarily put myself in life-changing situations all the time. (hello, 3rd baby?!?)

Bottom line, this is just one instance of many I will encounter with raising my kids. Hasn’t it been a busy year in that department already? GEEZ, give us all a break already!!

Will have post-op pics ready when Rt feels up to sharing his new smile. Oh, and the tooth fairy is going to visit tonight. (SUCH a great way to get your kid psyched for teeth removal, BTW.) We were thinking of two, 5 dollar bills. Does that seem “special” enough? Will be doing $1 for future regular fallout teeth….

Rt would like 2 gold coins, but I’m not sure I can swing that (Afford that) in the next 22 hours….

e

Skinny jeans for the growing belly at Style Lush! Also, a write up on the ice cream maker attachment on my mixer at Food Lush….

*****

Every week at my mom’s group, we go around the table telling our highs and lows of the week. This way, everyone gets a chance to share what’s going on in their lives, whether good or bad. Having us there to be a good sounding board with wanted advice or just someone there to listen. Either way, it’s therapeutic.

So, here are my today’s highs and lows, cause I have no memory prior to yesterday to recall what I did this past week.

LOWS:

Left Rt’s backpack at school yesterday. Seems when they tell you to leave your backpack at the front door of the library during book fair, they actually want you to pick it back up on your way out. Luckily, it was still sitting there this morning, right out side the library. It takes brain power, people.

While running out the door to my monthly OB appt., I forgot Hola’s shoes. It wasn’t too much of an issue since I forced him into the stroller during these kind of appts. The only time it was semi-inappropriate to NOT have shoes on was at the bagel shop. Oh well, socks can pass for shoes, right? RIGHT?

While using all the dignity I had to pee in a cup in front on my son, (“pee in a CUP mommy?”) I didn’t notice the cup had a crack in it. Therefore, my potty experiment was all over the floor and my jeans. Nothing like telling the gals at the front desk there needs to be a clean up (on aisle 5!) in the handicap stall of the bathroom.

After visiting the OB office and the blood lab in RECORD time, I took Hola to the bagel store. While getting him back into the car, my semi-frozen diet coke bottle fell out of the car and rolled away in the parking lot. I waited, what I thought was the allotted amount of time, and opened the bottle. Frozen diet coke float came shooting out of the top and onto me, my seat and console. DUDE, I just washed these jeans. Now, they are sprinkled with Diet Coke and urine. And yes, I am still wearing them. What, I look CUTE today.

HIGHS:

I went by the mailbox on my way home and found my new Kate Spake Iphone Cover in the mailbox!!!!  Isn’t it SUPER CUTE? Very pleased with my purchase. I’ve already dropped it and all is still well. Phew.

Hola has now gone pee on the little potty 5 times. All on his own. Only catch is, he has to be naked. The two times I put him in underwear yesterday, he peed right through them. He also stands over the potty facing the seat and pees standing up. This is rather messy. Even today, as he was pushing the pee out a kibble showed up under his hood. I tried to get him to sit, but he thought I was sending him into the lion’s den. No dice.

The best part about all of this, so far, is seeing my kid running in from the backyard trying to make it to the potty with little turds falling out of his rear. I know, gross, but hilarious all at the same time. Not sure how we are going to straighten out the poop part, but I’m trying to be casual, so we’ll see how it goes….Pull-Ups should be here later today…..(Did you know 7th Generation had Pull-Ups? Me neither.

I just realized that I will be in Chicago 2 weeks from today for the Blathering!!! So thrilled. I’ve never been to Chicago and I’m looking forward to hanging with some lovely ladies. Got a kick ass deal at the Fairmont too! Living it up for the last time for quite some time, it seems. Bring it on!! And bring on the near-bear and fake Cabernet….

Also, two weeks from Tuesday, we find out what this baby is, boy or girl! Will try to put up a poll sometime next week just for shits and giggles.

And, last, but not least, I’ll be 17 weeks on Sunday. Not bad, not bad at all!

Happy Friday!!

e

When the two boys play together, it’s never done quietly. They have their moments of disagreement and frustrations, but they also have their special times of laughter, fondness and delightful havoc.

The older Hola gets, the louder the play has become. The louder the laughs have become. The BIGGER they both sound together. I send them outside more often than not, just to make the commotion seem less on top of me.

Just now, Rt came in and asked if they could play in the water. This means stripping down to their bare butts and running wild through the Thomas the Train sprinkler. They spent most of the summer outside doing just this. They have their initial prep down to a science. Rt gets himself undressed, then takes off Hola’s shirt, shorts, asks him to lay down while he sniffs his bottom for potential poop, then continues to remove his diaper. It’s the cutest damn thing I’ve ever seen.

There has been several occasions lately Rt has said, Hola is his best friend. I’d say that’s pretty amazing for someone 3 years younger. Their conversations, while still LOUD, and endearing to hear. They really will remain best friends forever. I can see it already.

Their relationship doesn’t come without LOADS of teasing. The older Hola gets the more he gets teased by his older brother. And what does Hola do when he’s had enough of the teasing? He hits back. Clearly, he can’t articulate how annoyed his is at his brother’s actions, so his next defense is hitting. I don’t condone this, but what else is this kid to do until he can state his case? And a lot of the time Rt deserves it. What I like about this part of child-rearing is sending them both to their rooms at the same time. There is definitely something quite gratifying putting both boys away while I cool my jets. They can really send me to the moon sometimes.

(Since I have written this last paragraph, I have sent Rt to his room for getting Hola wet when he CLEARLY said “NO” and had to turn the hose water down since Hola thought turning the water to the right was the answer when I asked him to turn the water DOWN or to the left. Come on, can’t you understand physics yet? GAWD. Honestly, not long ago he began watering the kitchen floor along with the carpet in the den, so I have a slight fear when I hear pouring water nearby.)

No matter how much I complain about how loud they are, how busy they are, how much room they seem to take up, they’re two great kids who really do SO well together. I just want to bottle up this “doable” time and hope that it can remain this way for years to come.

Pretty please?

e

My good friend Allie was chosen by FoodBuzz.com to host a party celebrating our children and our friendships.

(FoodBuzz.com showcases posts from 24 Foodbuzz Featured Publisher bloggers. The monthly Foodbuzz 24 highlights unique meals occurring around the globe during a 24-hour period.)

Check out the Ice Cream Social from this past weekend.

To say I have an amazing group of friends is a complete understatement. I am so lucky.

e

So, my oldest made his way to kindergarten this week. It has truly been a whirlwind, I haven’t had a moment to process this occasion. Hubs has been out of town since Sunday and most of the new schedule has fallen upon me. Besides just being tired of parenting by myself, I think the week went better than expected. It’s the longest hubs has been gone over one period of time.

I think the reason for my “almost” even-keeled demeanor had to do with kindergarten itself. HELLO. One of my kids is gone EVERY morning for over 3 hours. Not just 3 days a week, not just for three hours total. 3 and ONE HALF hours and EVERY DAY. What a difference that makes.

I am quite proud of myself and all that I accomplished during this time. I still look around and see all the familiar things I made a dent in, but all the others that have been sitting in piles in random places are starting to see their demise. For instance, I have this cool tray that we usually have on our coffee table. Well, it has spent months, MONTHS, back in our bedroom, on the floor, while holding picture frames, random kid artwork and some other crap. It was assembled one morning while my house cleaner was here and put away, to be out of the way. And it remained there for way too long. You know how long it took me to go through that pile? Minutes. Items were thrown away, pictures were hung, and the tray was returned to its original home in the living room.

1 down, way more to go.

Besides hanging some photos, I adjusted some others. They weren’t positioned well on the wall and it was driving me nuts. I don’t have it JUST right, but it has inspired new ideas for the wall space. And that’s something.

Back to the kid going off to school. It’s pretty heavy when I think about it for just a moment. My first born is out of the house during school season for the remainder of his time in my house. Crazy.

When I picked Rt up at school today, Day 3, he handed me a certificate. It was an award he “won.” It said congratulations for writing his numbers from 1-100. Um, ok. I had no idea he knew how? I knew he could count to 100 forwards and backwards and even count to 100 by 10′s, but I had no idea he could write them. I was SO proud and totally thrilled by the look on his face when I read him what his teacher wrote.

It was priceless.

Sigh.

Clearly, I am all over the map with this school thing. It’s mind-blowing, heart-inflating and an opportunity for me to get my shit together for once and for all.

I’m excited for what’s to come.

e