Been busy all week volunteering at a local Vacation Bible School. Both boys are involved. Rt is in the actual program and Hola is in the child care while I work in the 4/5 yr olds Arts & Crafts room. As you can see, both of them are having the time of their lives and I spent my down time in the laundry room!

Wow, an entire week has gone by and all I have to show for myself is a TRIP TO DISNEYLAND. Come over to Style Lush Blog to see what tips I suggested to surviving the trip with the kids in tow.

Hopefully, I can recover soon and give a little more intimate detail of our trip, including pictures!

Luckily, we scheduled a date night for this evening, just in time to detox, ALONE.

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Rt giving me his version of Signing Times “Colors of the Rainbow.”

And Hola’s efforts at 1-10 from March.

“I don’t want anyone to know. I feel like I failed. I know it had nothing to do with me, but I’m ashamed. Nothing has even happened yet, but I feel so empty.

I told everyone. Well, everyone I could get my hands on. I wanted to celebrate what everyone else celebrates and not be consumed with worry for 8 long weeks. And this is what I get, everything blown back in my face. I want to scream, “WHY ME?” “AGAIN?!” I learned the first time, life is so precious, we don’t have control of most things, appreciate what you have. all of the above. believe me, I’ve learned.

It’s not like it’s been easy on others. We all, in some way or another, have had struggles, losses, hardships, but this was our time. Our time to grow our family. And now, we have another reminder of what we’ve lost. And it sucks. I’m sitting here waiting for the worst to happen, so I don’t have to go in and have it taken care of by someone else. This period of time, the waiting, is the worst. Dealing with something after it happened seemed much easier than wondering when something is going to happen. I’ve been there.”

This is what I wrote on Wednesday. The day we found out our baby-to-be is probably not.

While we have been enjoying celebrating the boys’ birthdays as of late, (can’t believe they are already TWO and FIVE) we are also dealing with some sad news. As of Wednesday, I went in for our first ultrasound at 8 weeks with our latest kiddo on the way. Everything seemed to be fine, but the u/s showed a slower heartbeat and a baby not the size of an 8 week gestation.

My doctor said we should wait and see what the next u/s shows us next Friday, (9 days later) maybe we are off on our dates, but I know all to well what our dates are and my blood work was spot on from my last draw in the 6th week. So, I am pretty much of the mindset this isn’t going to work out. We are very grateful knowing this now rather than much later down the road, but it doesn’t make us feel better about our current situation.

Currently, we are *hoping* (if you could ever hope for this) for nature to takes its course before next Friday. Otherwise, I’d have to go in for a D & C. I am not sure we can keep that from happening since nothing has happened to me thus far.

We’re going to be ok, and try again as soon as we can. Until then, we just have to wait, which, I believe, and can now tell you, is the hardest part.

I had this less than impressive post about seeing So You Think You Can Dance tour last night, but I’m tired and cranky and didn’t have the heart to finish it. I even went out this evening for a Girls’ Night Out too. Just didn’t get the required amount of sleep last night among a few other non-important-in-the-real-world issues I am gnawing on at the moment.

So, I will leave you will a family picture we had taken a couple of weeks ago. It’s one of my favorites.

Ah, hell. Here is another that I can’t live without.

Ok, FINE. One more.

So, on that note, I am taking my cranky ass self to bed. Actually, I am in bed, but I have my jeans on still. Guess I need to do something about that….

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Hey. It’s me! Mel. I’ve been out of the country, washing my hair….

No, I’ve been in Oklahoma attending a wedding, hanging out with my family and spending some “alone” time at my alma mater.

I’ll be back at some point with some interesting tidbits from my trip. It includes a late night trip to the doc in the box for a mysterious injury of my 17 mo. old. Let’s just say I had to hold a crying child for FOUR hours until we figured out the cause of his terrible anguish.

stay tuned!
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p.s. Did I mention hubs did not come with us on our trip? That means I have spent this entire WEEK being main caretaker of these puppies.

Send help! And wine.

If you haven’t had the blessed opportunity to watch this show on Nick, Nick Jr, and Noggin, then you are MISSING OUT PEOPLE. Not only is this our FAVORITE show in the house, and we request to watch it more often than not, we get down and boggie every chance we get. Take a look and see what I mean.

Watch out for that goose. That’s gotta hurt!

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I have a new niece. Her name is Stella. She’s petite at 5 lb 14 oz. She’s perfect. And, she’s ours!

“I can’t wait to just be a mom. I’ll only have to take care of the baby!”

These words were spoken by yours truly while pregnant with Rt. I was working full-time and looking forward to only being a mother and not a “working woman”. I was looking forward to the “time-off” and a break from the stresses of the outside world.

How utterly wrong I truly was.

While my words were slightly on the naive side (um, hello??), there is something quite sad about that statement too. What ever happened to just being a mom? When and why did it get so complicated?

Since becoming a mother, my main “side job” was to save money. I sure as hell wasn’t bringing home the bacon and we had to make due with what hubs was providing. The more I saved, the more I could buy, (or save. whatever.) So, with that, I scoured all the stores and found all the products I needed and bought them according to who had the best price. Not too shabby, right? Wrong.

The tide began to change. Now, it wasn’t just about price, it was about WHAT product you were buying.

First up, Organic.

Now, when I started buying baby food for Rt, two years ago, the “organic craze” hadn’t gone too mainstream, but I somehow bought Gerber’s Tender Harvest Organic anyway. My purchase was first based on flavor selection, then availability. Target, plus most local grocery stores sold it. Fabulous! Then, I stumbled upon Earth’s Best at Walmart. Even better flavors! 55 cents a jar! Sooo up my alley.

So, Rt ate organic, mainly by happenstance.

Due up, Cleaning Supplies.

This is somewhat new in my household. I switched over to a few Method brand items sometime earlier this year, but only recently added more to round out my collection. In all honesty, the prices on most of their items (at Target) are not much more than other cleaners I have purchased in the past. (except for laundry detergent, and wood cleaner, for example) (can someone please tell me where to get their dish washing detergent? Target didn’t have it) The reason I decided to make the switch was envisioning Rt licking the side of the tub that had just been cleaned by the house cleaners (at least they clean the tub, I’m not sure I ever did. eek!) and think that Comet would be stuck on his tongue and then swallowed. Probably not going to happen, but we’re having another little tot who just might be an obsessive licker. Ya, never know.

And lastly, regular everyday crap like baby shampoo.

Ok, so in being a lurker on my “You’re due in April, read about other ladies due then too” board on BabyCenter, I have come across many articles about Johnson and Johnson products containing an ingredient called Quaternium-15. Quaternium-15 is a preservative found in many cosmetics and industrial substances that releases formaldehyde. Now, I am sure there are many “concerning” ingredients in many products we all use on a daily basis, but where do we draw the line? What do we do about it? I went and looked at all the bath products we use for Rt and I would have to throw out his bath wash, shampoo and some random bubble bath we have. I still haven’t decided what I am going to do about it. There really isn’t a need for his bath wash, when a bar of soap can get the guy cleaned, but what about his thick locks? (or fine baby hair that is) Is bubble bath not an “OK” treat for our little ones anymore?

So, I’ll end this with this question. How far are you able to go to raise your children in today’s world? When is believing everything you hear, follow every new guideline out there, and live in totally germy, poison fear taking it too far? When is following last years manual not good enough?

My jury is still out, but I am a mom. I am willing to go the distance. It’s just that, how much stamina do I need? Every choice I make seems to matter so much. It’s truly tiring.

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So, it has been an entire week since our return from the okie state and I am just now getting around to chatting about it. Good flipping grief! Where has the time gone? It’s a blur filled with early mornings and loads of laundry.

I don’t know how it is for some of you, but when I go home, the entire time is spent with family. There are several people I would like to see, but due to timing and a 2 1/2 yr old that still naps the afternoon away (thank the heavens for that) I had about 30 minutes to drop by to see one group of great friends, Brian and Danielle and their little boy Jack. I wished there was more time, but due to the recent events with my grandmother, every moment I had was family-focused. Luckily, I dig my family.

One of the highlights for me was attending the first OU football game of the season. For some reason, my brother offered to watch Rt from around 4pm-10pm. As I mentioned below, the guy already has two young boys and had no probs adding another one to the mix. I asked him if he had run this fab idea past my sister-in-law. I don’t know how thrilled I would be to spend my Saturday night in matchbox derby hell, but they were both willing and glad to help. Thanks guys!

As the photo illustrates, we creamed ‘em, over and over again. 70 something to 13? Yes, it was North Texas, but it was still a sight to see. Did you happen to catch the Miami game last weekend? Priceless.

I think I spent most of my trip eating beef, hamburgers that is. If you’ve never experienced it, OK has the best hamburgers around, especially from Johnnie’s. My entire youth was spent at this place. Pep Rallies? After softball games? Off- campus lunches? You name it, we were there. The onion rings, people. The rings.

This photo was taken right after our Johnnie’s experience. We had attended Parker’s, the little dude on the left, baptism earlier that day. It was nice they could schedule such an event while my mom and I were in town. Nice to be around for such an occasion. I tend to miss a lot. The hardest thing about living so far away.

Come Monday, we made our way up to T-Town, Tulsa that is. My cousin and his wife recently moved back from living in Dallas for 10 years. We had a Tulsa family get-together filled with aunts, uncles, cousins and little ones. There is nothing better than family. Rt and his twin cousin’s clearly enjoyed themselves. I think Sesame Street was playing during the photo above. It truly was the only time any of them sat still. Can you believe this photo has been viewed on Flickr 195 times? Hell, that’s a record for me.

Once back in OKC, we celebrated my sister-in-law’s, brother’s, and my birthday. Our bday’s fall within 4 weeks of each other, so our routine is to celebrate them all together when we can. Other than that, I can’t even remember all what we did. Between napping and sleeping and running around from house to house, we managed to really enjoy ourselves.

I flew home with Rt alone. My mom stayed a couple of days later than I did, so this trip was all me. I am so thankful Rt does so well on the plane. He has already flown on 28 planes, so, by now, we’ve gotten the whole “ordeal” down to a science. Who knew the airplane instruction manual would entertain him for a good 20 minutes before take-off? Wonder how long the barf bag could’ve held his attention. Next time.

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