So, my oldest made his way to kindergarten this week. It has truly been a whirlwind, I haven’t had a moment to process this occasion. Hubs has been out of town since Sunday and most of the new schedule has fallen upon me. Besides just being tired of parenting by myself, I think the week went better than expected. It’s the longest hubs has been gone over one period of time.

I think the reason for my “almost” even-keeled demeanor had to do with kindergarten itself. HELLO. One of my kids is gone EVERY morning for over 3 hours. Not just 3 days a week, not just for three hours total. 3 and ONE HALF hours and EVERY DAY. What a difference that makes.

I am quite proud of myself and all that I accomplished during this time. I still look around and see all the familiar things I made a dent in, but all the others that have been sitting in piles in random places are starting to see their demise. For instance, I have this cool tray that we usually have on our coffee table. Well, it has spent months, MONTHS, back in our bedroom, on the floor, while holding picture frames, random kid artwork and some other crap. It was assembled one morning while my house cleaner was here and put away, to be out of the way. And it remained there for way too long. You know how long it took me to go through that pile? Minutes. Items were thrown away, pictures were hung, and the tray was returned to its original home in the living room.

1 down, way more to go.

Besides hanging some photos, I adjusted some others. They weren’t positioned well on the wall and it was driving me nuts. I don’t have it JUST right, but it has inspired new ideas for the wall space. And that’s something.

Back to the kid going off to school. It’s pretty heavy when I think about it for just a moment. My first born is out of the house during school season for the remainder of his time in my house. Crazy.

When I picked Rt up at school today, Day 3, he handed me a certificate. It was an award he “won.” It said congratulations for writing his numbers from 1-100. Um, ok. I had no idea he knew how? I knew he could count to 100 forwards and backwards and even count to 100 by 10’s, but I had no idea he could write them. I was SO proud and totally thrilled by the look on his face when I read him what his teacher wrote.

It was priceless.

Sigh.

Clearly, I am all over the map with this school thing. It’s mind-blowing, heart-inflating and an opportunity for me to get my shit together for once and for all.

I’m excited for what’s to come.

e

e

Rt said, “These are for you, mommy.”

Taken from the front yard hedge, my son gave me some flowers.

********

(I added the shot glass as it was the smallest “vase” I had.)

Rt giving me his version of Signing Times “Colors of the Rainbow.”

And Hola’s efforts at 1-10 from March.

Wonder what gets me through weeks like these? Check it.

I’m forever grateful.

e

Dear Ryan,

On your 5th birthday, I’d like to document the latest happenings in your life hoping to capture your essence before it fades into another year, before other milestones are achieved.

When I am struggling with your brother, be it over a diaper change or he not being able to comprehend chalk eggs do not come inside the house, you come to me, bend down and give me a side hug, just to let me know you see me and know I need the support.

You tell me, “I love you Mommy,” when you feel the time is right.

You say things like “Good grief,” “Whatever”, “I know,” “This is the BEST ——- EVER!” (for most things you are excited about. It kills me every time.)

You can maneuver the remote better than most adults. You never sit through a show you are watching. You hop, jump and bounce your way through most episodes.

You love the game I Spy. You re-enact the game/show on the floor in your room, all in a perfect square. You are a whiz at puzzles and enjoy putting them together during one-on-one time with mommy and daddy.

You enjoy cooking. You can’t WAIT to go to cooking camp this summer. Your favorite part, besides licking the spoon, is to crack the eggs. “Does it have EGGS???”

I see you playing with a baby doll, so gently, so lovingly. You catch me watching you and you smile at me with that smile that will someday melt many hearts. You’ve already done that with mine.

You love having your hair played with. Every time I stop you ask me to “do more.” I gave you your first back rub recently and you told me to do it again, “It felt good.” You even like having your ears cleaned.

You truly adore your brother. You help him when you see he is struggling. Your empathy is starting to show through. It’s so lovely to see. You also get highly frustrated when he meddles into your business. Your first instinct is to wind your arm back sideways, pout your mouth and want to pounce, but as we are learning we do not hurt our brother, even though it feels like the right thing to do. (I SO get it.)

Your smile still reminds me of a little beaver with your front teeth still far apart. You mentioned this morning that you couldn’t wait to go to bed tonight, so you would lose your tooth. I guess telling you you would lose your first tooth when you were five wasn’t exactly the best way to describe the tooth fairy.

You would never exclude anyone. You would rather have more friends, than less. You bring people together rather than pull them apart.

You will be heading into Kindergarten this Fall and you are more than ready. You LOVE school and it comes easy to you. You can spell your full name, including middle. You can count to 100, even by 10’s. Your ability to read is amazing. You do get frustrated when you can’t read a word, but when you take your time, you surprise even yourself.

You’re more obedient, than you’re not. You still stay in your room for quiet time for over 2 hours a day. You play quietly. You’re always happy. You still run and hug my leg every time I pick you up from school as if we hadn’t seen each other in a week.

You amaze me. You are bright, passionate, meticulous and a such hard worker. And a little toy, like a Play-Doh Ice Cream maker, can make your world “THE BEST EVER.”

I love you Ryan. You’re everything a mommy could wish for and more. I am so very proud of you. You’re lovely.

Love,

Mommy

It’s started. Buying a package protector for my boy who isn’t even FIVE yet. Sigh.

e

So, this is the last day of Nablopomo.

I DID IT.

This isn’t the first year I attempted posting everyday during the month of November, but the last time I completed 30 days of writing, I was pregnant with Hola and had plenty of material to share.

This year? Not so much. BUT, I did ask at the beginning of the month if there was anything anyone wanted me to write about. I believe I got one comment with a question. Joanna asked about Rt’s birth story, since I had already shared Hola’s while it actually happened (for the most part, not really.)

So, on that note, here’s Rt’s coming-into-the-world story.

On the eve of my due date, the first episode of Sex in the City began on TBS. I knew the really good parts were deleted or dubbed, but it kept me sane during the most unsure and overwhelming moments of my life. The contractions started slightly, but were right on schedule. I kept this tidbit of information to myself throughout the first episode. 30 minutes of a wee bit of pain every 3-5 minutes lasting 30-45 seconds. Once the first episode came and went, I let hubs in on the current happenings. We watched another episode while keeping time and the tightness came and went right on cue. It was time to call the doc and head in…..

We arrived at the hospital sometime in the 10p.m hour. We were taken up to labor & delivery and was hooked up to the monitors to see if I was progressing. After a few hours of waiting-to-see-what-will-happen, we were told nothing really was happening. So, we were given a choice. We could stay there and they could get me started on pitocin to move along my contractions or we could go home and let this thing happen as natural as possible.

We opted for au natural and headed for the car. This was back in the day when Daylight Savings Time was still in early April. They had not changed the clock in the hospital rooms yet, so we thought it was 2am when we got in the car. Nope. It was 3am. Well, there goes getting a good night’s rest prior to having a baby.

We got home and the contractions were still killing me, and since I was having what was later to be diagnosed as “Back labor”, my back was being put through the ringer and then some. A hot shower sounded like the only thing that would provide any sort of relief.

Well, the shower was nice and all, but no real change in the pain department. So, I got into bed around 4am and passed out rather quickly, somehow, someway. 10 minutes later I was awakened by a POP sound coming from down below. Yep, my water broke. (Glad I got that nap in.) Hubs asked if he could jump in the shower REAL quick while I stood there DOUBLED OVER IN PAIN. I said yes, cause I thought I could handle the situation. Ya, RIGHT!

Luckily, sheer fear is what got us to the hospital so quickly. That and it was 4am in the morning. Nobody was on the roads in LA at that time of night. (Oh, did I mention we were living in LA when Rt was born? Oh, sorry.) So, once we got to the ER, they put me in a wheelchair and wheeled me back up to the L & D floor. This time, by just looking at me, they admitted me to my room. No monitoring needed. Must have had that certain look on my face that meant business.

Ok, so by this time it’s 5a.m. I believe I was 4cm? I immediately requested an epidural since the nurse told me no kind of medication would save me from back labor, only the epidural would be the answer. On that note, I signed on the dotted line. Once we got that taken care of, I was a 6. Then, by 11am I was already a 10. But, because Rt’s heart rate had a hard time recovering from each contraction, the nurse had me practice pushing for about an hour. We would push a little every 3rd contraction or so to see if we could get him to move further along without much stress on him. At one point, she prepped me for a c-section, just in case we couldn’t get him out when we needed to. (That hour was one of the scariest ones of our lives. Hoping that heart rate would recover every 3 to 5 minutes was such torture.)

By 12:45pm, the nurse called the doctor, who was in her office a block away, and told her she needed to get there. The doctor said she could be there in 15 minutes, but the nurse said, “No, NOW.” Um, ya. Talk about scaring the living shit out of us, hearing that REALLY took the cake. (oh, did I mention we didn’t know Rt was a boy or girl? Ya, we didn’t know. Sorry. ) (Oh, and one more thing, every time I had a contraction, I pooped on the table.)

Yep, I said it.

It was awful, terrible, and not so bad all in the same breath. Hell, how would I know? I had to wear an oxygen mask, I couldn’t smell much of anything. (Cringe, shutter, cringe, cringe.)

Moving on.

When the doctor came in the room at 1p.m., she said, “oh good, looks like she’s ready.” (she said this while she saw a small turd on the table. YES, I KNOW. I DIED RIGHT THEN AND THERE. No, actually I thought, honey, we’ve been doing this all morning. This shit don’t mean ANYTHING.)

So, 3 pushes and a vacuum for his big ‘ol head later, our bouncing baby BOY was born at 1:20p.m.

The end.

The beginning.

e

I was gone for mere moments to take a shower BY MYSELF the other day. While in the back of the house, I heard tons and tons of laughter, the kind that makes you smile knowing someone is just tickled pink. Somehow, I never heard what was so funny. Then, today, I find tons of pictures on my camera taken by hubs of the boys. Check out a few below…

Now I get it.

e

As Rt, Hola and I were walking to the car from preschool today, one of the girls in his class, Bella, asked Rt if he could come over for a play date. While I was flattered by the invite, I find it rather uncomfortable when one child asks another child to do something outside of school. It’s AWKWARD. Especially when the parent walking with the requesting child just stands there smiling and says NOTHING in regards to nipping the situation in the bud. Hello?!? HELP IS NEEDED HERE!

It’s hard for my group to just pick up after preschool and go somewhere for lunch. Hola still eats things that don’t come in a happy meal. Hell, Rt doesn’t eat much from a kid’s meal either. He doesn’t like hamburgers and he thinks the apples taste funny. Point is, I don’t do well with last minute lunch dates with people I don’t know very well. If it’s planned, then maybe I can pack some extra (decent) foods for the boys that might round out their meal.

Today, Bella was with her dad. Let’s call him “Mute Dad.” I was really hoping he’d help me out by telling his daughter that her intentions were nice, but probably not a good idea at the time. But, all I heard were crickets. So, I said it was a lovely thought, but it didn’t work for us today, maybe another day? maybe we can plan something? *smile*, *smile*, *wave*!!

As I was loading Hola into the car, her father approached (agh, he’s coming over to me, AWKWARD!!) and began talking about Chic-fil-a’s family night on Tuesday nights. They have a balloon guy and something else that makes it worth our while. He said maybe we all could meet up for an early dinner and that way Bella and Rt could have their “date.”

Luckily, the whole idea of meeting up for dinner, not today, but tomorrow, DOES works for us, so I told him that would be a great idea. I am not sure if hubs is going to want to meet up with us. He’s not much of a social butterfly as I am. I am assuming, and HOPING his wife will be there too.  She’s nice, but she talks more than I do! (Lord help me.) So, hopefully the older kids will play in the play structure while I stay busy keeping Hola’s food off the floor. Maybe I’ll even get to have a nugget or two.

e